The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone—Harriet Beecher Stowe
On August 2,1967 then Captain Jay Hess flew the number four position in a flight of four F-105 Thunderchief fighter-bombers assigned to destroy the heavily defended Thai Nygen Power Plant in North Viet Nam. Captain Hess quickly identified the target in limited visibility and then with total disregard for his own safety delivered his plane’s ordinance contributing immeasurably to the destruction of that target. Unfortunately, Captain Hess’ aircraft had taken a direct hit from the intense anti-aircraft defenses and he would never make it back to his home base that day. Instead his F-105 crashed and he was captured, tortured repeatedly, and placed in solitary confinement for two months in that prisoner of war camp known as the Hanoi Hilton.
Ask Lt. Colonel Jay Hess today how long he was held in captivity and he answers without hesitation: "2,029 days — over five years." While he would return home in 1973 to receive a Silver Star for his gallantry, perhaps the greatest legacy surrounding Lt. Colonel Hess’ POW ordeal is the story I want to call “A Message from Hanoi.”
For more than two years Jay Hess’ wife and family didn’t know if he was alive or dead. Finally, his North Vietnamese captors allowed him to write a note to his family. But the note could only be sent if it contained 25 words or less.
What would you say in these circumstances, not knowing if you would ever be reunited with your spouse and family or if you would ever be able to send another note? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Lt. Colonel Hess wrote: “These things are important: temple, marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”
So, as we approach Father’s Day, I would like to ask every father and grandfather: What are the empowering, inspiring words you can share from your values and your life wisdom? Can you compress those thoughts into 25 words or less and send “A Message From Hanoi” note to your loved ones?
The Message From Hanoi Suggestion
What is it that really counts in terms of a life “well lived”?
Think of single words or word pairs that describe the values or principles you feel you have tried to live your life by, If you find that 25 words is just too difficult to compress into a meaningful note, splurge. Lt. Col. Hess would have written more. His captors just wouldn’t let him.
What could you say in just a handful of words that would help your child(ren) know how much you loved them and how proud they have made you?
Is there a special phrase or a term of endearment which you remember from your youth or parent(s) which captures the essence of the love you have for your child(ren) or of the hopes and dreams you have for the life they will live.
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