"This his praise, if praise be needed, As a father he succeeded.”—Edgar Allan Guest from his poem entitled “Old Man Green”
We need successful fathers today more than we have ever needed them.
David Blankenhorn, in his book entitled Fatherless America describes “fatherlessness” as “the most harmful demographic trend of this generation” and the leading cause of damage to children. “It is,” says Blankenhorn, “the engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy to child sexual abuse to domestic violence…”
Tonight more than 40% of children in America will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Blankenhorn sums up this alarming statistic in these words:
“Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father.”
Jeffrey R. Holland, a former University President who called the book Fatherless America to my attention, noted:
Of even greater concern than the physical absenteeism of some fathers is the spiritually or emotionally absent father. These are fatherly sins of omission that are probably more destructive than sins of commission. Why are we not surprised that when 2,000 children of all ages and backgrounds were asked what they appreciated most about their fathers, they answered universally, “He spends time with me”?
The greatest regret I have from the years when my children were going to sleep under my roof was that I didn’t make more time for them. It seems to be a natural phenomenon that what children are deprived of they seem to particularly compensate for as adults. I see this principle in my own son’s life and I’m grateful for it. He is making greater efforts than I made to spend quality time with his children.
During the two weeks that straddle Father’s Day 2011 I will be posting stories of “successful fathers” in hopes that all fathers and grandfathers will double their efforts to deepen their connections with their children and grandchildren. Each post will offer a suggestion of a thoughtful way in which fathers can give the gift which will always be most appreciated by their child: the Gift of You. And, if you know of a child who is fatherless can you find a way to become a positive influence in that child’s life.
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The Father’s Day Tooth Fairy Note
Did you grow up with the tradition of a visit from the tooth fairy every time you lost a tooth? Remember the excitement you felt when you woke up and discovered the Tooth Fairy had brought you a shiny Silver Dollar or a treat.
What if you write notes from your heart to each of your children, and place them under their pillows after they have gone to sleep the night before Father’s Day. When they proudly give you your Father’s Day present, you can surprise them by telling them there is something lying under their pillow. Make sure you preserve a copy of your note. Someday your child will be extremely happy you remembered them on Father’s Day and you preserved that special note for them to share with their family.
Fantastic post John. Thanks for reminding us all of what is truly the most important role of a father, "being there" for your kids. Happy Father's Day to you.
Posted by: Paul Cronin | June 16, 2011 at 02:29 PM
John, thanks for a wonderful idea. This is my first father's day and I'm going to do my best to make this a tradition for my daughter and I.
Posted by: H. Jude Boudreaux | June 17, 2011 at 06:43 AM
Wonderful Jude! Enjoy the moment and savor the memories you will be building. John A
Posted by: John A Warnick | June 17, 2011 at 07:08 AM