The Five Second Hugging Practice

"A hug delights and warms and charms,
that must be why God gave us arms."~Author Unknown

In the last couple of months, I've been reflecting on the power of a hug to convey love and friendship, warmth and encouragement, comfort and empathy.  I've looked at both sides of hugs...as a greeting and as a farewell...as well as the wonderful warmth of affirming and empowering hugs.

 In a recent visit with three of my young grandsons in Pennsylvania I was inspired to try an experiment.  What is the optimal duration of a grandfather/grandson hug?  My very small sampling suggests three to five to seconds is ideal for hugs with squirmy young grandsons.  With that research in hand, I dug a little deeper looking for serious scientific inquiries into the question of what the ideal duration of a hug might be.  

To my amazement I found a study by British psychologist Emese Nagy of the duration and nature of hugs among the athletes at the 2008 Summer Olympics.  The average duration of these spontaneous hugs (including touching before and after the embrace) was 4.81 seconds.

But perhaps much more important than the duration of a hug, particularly when it comes to hugs for our children and grandchildren, is the frequencies with which we give hugs.

Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, has said "(w)e need four hugs a day for survival.  We need eight hugs for maintenance.  We need twelves hugs a day for growth." And, research in a Korea orphanage demonstrated a significant boost in the health and growth of infant orphans who received an extra 15 minutes a day of physical touching.

There is a magic in hugging.  This simple form of affection boosts a young child's mental and physical development.  Hugging aids in the development of life skills.

Sadly, research shows that female infants receive almost five times as much hugging and touching as males.  And the Univ. of Pittsburgh reports that when it comes to soothing, holding or playing, American children receive significantly less contact than those of other cultures.  As our children grow older we tend to forget the importance of hugging.  Yet, it may be as vital for teenagers to be hugged and affirmed as it is for young children.

So let's commit ourselves today to a practice of hugging.  And, here's just some of the myriad daily opportunities for you and your child or grandchild to experience the Fusion of Hugging:

• Say good morning with a hug
• Say good night with a hug and a kiss
• Hug your child when they come home from school or when you get home from work
• Hug your child when you pick them up from day-care or the babysitter's
• Say thank-you with a hug
• Hug them to appreciate when they've done their chores
• Hug your child after a performance or game
• Hug them on your (their) way out the door in the morning
• Hug them and whisper "I Love You" as a Random Moment of Affection
• Hug them before they leave on a date and on their return
• Hug them when they have had a bad day or run into adversity
• Hug them when they recount a special accomplishment or moment in their life

"The best gift you can give is a hug.  One size fits all and no one minds if you return it."
~Author Unknown

 

Comments

[Hartley Goldstone]

This is great, John A.

[Steve Gammill]

Even those of us who consider we're "huggers" need to be reminded that we don't ever do it enough. Thanks for this one, John A.

[Johanna Fox Turner]

Thanks for your post! We make a practice of hugging in our office. When clients come in now, instead of sticking out a hand, they open their arms wide. It's a wonderful way to start the conversation!

[Yolanda Gallo]

Hugging is a daily ritual for me. I hug everybody I meet and welcome including getting at least 3 - 5 hugs a day from my teenagers. I hug on the left side "heart to heart". My research has found that people instinctively hug on the right side - but I always ask people I prefer hugs to the left and tell them why....and everytime I get an "ahhhh that makes sense" :)

When I tuck my grandson into bed I pick up his teddy bear and say "hug for Mr. Bear, hugs are so beautiful, your turn". Now when I hug bear and put him in Adam's arms he hugs him, smiles and rolls on his side to sleep..."it is indeed a beautiful thing"

[Donald Chalmers]

I've just added three quotes about hugging to my 4th lot of 5555 truthful quotes. Thankyou !

When I started collecting wisdom quotes about 10 years ago, I didn't ever think that I would have lasted this long, since I was on a downward health spiral. Since then, I have included my first batch of Three Thousand as "Unwinding the Wound - Wound Wisdom" in my "wound-wisdom.tk" website.

Later, I incorporated these into a larger work "Manna from Heaven", and thought that surely, I had reached the "limit". This is also now freely available to all at the site (click on that section and open the PDF file).

On checking now though the word search for "hug", "hugs", "hugged" and "hugging", this important facet of our life-affirming behaviour has only arisen about 8 times in my (currently) 17,690 quotes.

Hugging is obviously a very important part of love, friendship and affection; I am surprised that my search shows such a low number. Obviously, your article was very well timed, and helps redress the issue. Thanks again for your contribution !

I hope in the future to include the next lots of 5555 "wisdom quotes" to my website as "Nectar from Heaven", "Weft of Heaven", and "Warp of Heaven" - if I can get them all collected and sorted before my "end".

Only another 4,530 quotes to be collected. Surely then I will meet my "Match" (or my "Maker"), though I suspect that the scope is "infinite" , and that I'll only have scratched at the surface of "Good-God" living concepts. But it will be at least, a beginning, and a strong foundation for all the others to build upon.

[Donald Chalmers]

Oops ! The website details I showed omitted a couple of "forward slashes" (//) which I have now inserted, so that you should now be able to go to my website by pointing to my names - "below".

[Bente]

Love this, John - thank you. Easy and pleasant to do; a no-brainer as part of adily life! Bente

[Audrey]

This is a great article. Thank you.

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