Seedlings

The Value of a Plan

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination” - Earl Nightingale

Here’s my adaptation of Aesop’s Fable of the Man, Boy and Donkey:

A father and his almost adult son set out to sell their donkey and buy winter provisions. As they were walking alongside the donkey, a passerby said, “You fools, what is a donkey but for to ride upon?”. So the father put his son on the donkey. Then they passed another group of laborers, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he rides and makes his father walk.” So the man ordered the boy off the donkey and got on himself. They hadn’t gone far when passed by two women, one of whom said: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor son trudge along.” Shamed, the man had his son get on the donkey in front of him and started to town.

Entering the gates of the city, the father noticed passers-by were jeering and pointing at them as they rode the donkey. He stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The villagers replied, “Aren’t you ashamed for overloading that poor donkey, you and your hulking son?” In compliance with the dissident voices and mocking fingers, the man and boy got off and tried to think of what to do. They cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders, and marched slowly towards the marketplace. As they were crossing the bridge, the son stumbled, and in the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge and drowned because his feet were tied.

“That will teach you”, said an old man who had followed them.

Aesop concludes his fable by saying: “PLEASE ALL, AND YOU WILL PLEASE NONE”.

The father and son had failed in their goal of selling the donkey and had no money to buy the winter provisions they needed in order to survive.

How much different the outcome would have been if the father and son had had a plan to follow. The Father could have said, “I’ll ride the donkey one-third of the way; Son, you ride the donkey one-third of the way; and we’ll both walk the last third of the way. The donkey will arrive at the marketplace fresh and strong, ready to be sold.”

Then, as they received confusing advice while traveling through each hamlet and village along their way to the city, they could look at each other, give a reassuring wink of the eye, and say, “We have a plan.”

We all need plans, whether it is for work or for the most important work we do as parents and grandparents. There’s an important donkey in each of our lives. What is your plan for it?

“Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.”—William Arthur Ward

 

Is There a Greece in Your Child’s or Grandchild’s Future?

“When you have too much month for your paycheck, then what you need to do is realize that there is abundance all around you and focus on the abundance and not your lack and as night follows day abundance will come to you.”—Sidney Madwed

I was in a London airport lounge recently scanning the headlines of the Sunday newspapers .   I found one story after another detailing the struggles of the European community to find a solution to the fiscal and financial crisis in Greece.  These stories often asked if the economic contagion would spread not just to other members of the Eurozone but to the U.S. and other corners of the world. 

Shortly after my return to the U.S. I heard several presidential candidates warning that if the United States didn’t bring its deficit spending binge under control we would face a crisis similar to what is rocking Greece.  One morning my reflections led me to ponder how many families throughout the world are on a course which may lead them—no matter how vast our current financial resources—to a bankrupt future in terms of purpose, significance, and character development.

A few days after Christmas I had the opportunity to spend a half day with Lee Brower, author of The Brower Quadrant, a book I’d highly recommend.  Lee introduced me to a powerful concept he is developing called Empowered Sustainability.  I have been reflecting since that meeting on what a positive legacy we might leave our children and grandchildren if we could help them live every day of their adult lives through the paradigm of Empowered Sustainability.

I believe that what Lee Brower is seeking in the concept of Empowered Sustainability is an antidote to the shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations wealth cycle that James E. "Jay” Hughes, Jr. discovered in his professional odyssey.  What can we do to not just preserve a family’s financial wealth through future generations but allow the family to flourish both individually and collectively?

There is no question that societies in the developed nations have become increasingly materialistic over the last century.  The “more is better” mentality is a siren song which will shipwreck both individual and family happiness.  That mindset puts us on what some call the hedonistic treadmill.  It is an unsatisfying, in every meaningful way, race to acquire more; to have better toys, gadgets and lifestyles.

How can we make sure there isn’t a Greece in our child’s or grandchild’s future?

I think it starts with The Power of Example.  It is what we model in our own lives which will reflect the brightest in the future lives of our children and grandchildren.  It starts when we tune into our personal purpose and calling.  Then, we should make sure we help our posterity understand this wisdom from Wayne Dyer:

“Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”

And, we need to help them understand the math of less can be more.  Choosing purposefully how we spend our paychecks; living within our means rather than beyond; and making sure we are wise consumers are all part of this sustainability discipline.

There is a huge need in the U.S. today for financial education.  But no matter how much we know about investing, until we can exercise the self-control necessary to not mortgage our futures through excessive use of credit cards, home equity loans, and pay-day cash advances we will remain in economic serfdom. 

I believe the path to Empowered Sustainability starts with honest introspection.  It begins with understanding the difference between needs and wants and committing ourselves to be grateful for what we already have.  Gratitude is a key component of Empowered Sustainability. I love this wisdom on unleashing the generative influence of appreciation by focusing on what we already have:

Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth”-- Sarah Ban Breathnach, in John Cook, comp., The Book of Positive Quotations, 2nd ed. (2007), 342.

As we become aware of how we are spending our financial resources and where we are investing our time and energy, it opens up the opportunity to commit ourselves to a plan which will ultimately reduce stress, increase our opportunities to discover greater joy and fulfillment, and make the Power of Example a sustainable influence within our families.    

"Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed”—Mahatma Gandhi

Three Red Marbles

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Three Red Marbles story is one I first heard many years ago.  A friend recently shared another version of it with me.  I’ve taken the liberty of shortening it a tad but hope it still penetrates into your heart as deeply as it does mine.

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, ragged but clean, hungrily surveying a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the grocery store owner) and that small boy next to me.

"Hello Jimmy, how are you today?"
 
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya."

"How's your Ma, Jimmy?"

"Doin’ better Sir.  Gittin' stronger alla' time."

"Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.

"Not zackley but almost . . .";

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble", Mr. Miller told the boy.

"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."

I moved to the check-out counter where Mrs. Miller, who had noticed me absorbing the dialogue between Jimmy and her husband, proudly said, "There are two other boys like Jimmy in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Tom just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with Tom Miller’s compassion. A short time later I moved to Colorado but as the years passed I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Last summer I returned to that Idaho community for a family reunion and learned that Mr. Miller had died.  Several members of my family were going to the visitation.  So I went along to pay my respects to this fine man.  Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to greet Mrs. Miller and offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line I noticed three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts . . . all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, who was standing by her husband's casket.  Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved next to the open casket.

I noticed that one by one, each young man stopped, briefly placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket, then moved on to leave the mortuary, wiping his eyes.

As Mrs. Miller greeted my relatives and then me, I reminded her of that story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she led me to the casket.   "Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Tom "traded" them.  Now, at last, when Tom could not change his mind about color or size . . . they came to pay their debt."

"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Tom would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."   With loving gentleness she lifted his lifeless fingers. Resting underneath were three shiny red marbles.

 

"Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.”—Billy Graham